I love this!!! I wish more people knew how to combine aggressive enjambments with such a subtle tone as you have done here. "streaks like a // bird" is a really breathtaking jump. Also, food for thought: I tried inverting the poem and reading it again - it changed the resonance but it still worked. Maybe new options can come out of something like that!
Thanks! I'm just beginning to experiment with elements of poetry like form, punctuation etc. I've written freeform for such a long time, will little intention other than self-expression. This was an experiment in breaking the text into lines containing 6/4/6 syllables (approximately, not without variation). I'm glad you like the effect and appreciate the feedback!
Have you read Marianne Moore? Your work reminds me of hers. She often wrote in syllabic forms of her own invention and focused heavily in nature imagery. https://poets.org/poem/poetry
Oh yes, you are quite capable of such tender beauty, Annie..............thank you for ruining this page!
Thank you for reading and your kind comments Leon!
I love this!!! I wish more people knew how to combine aggressive enjambments with such a subtle tone as you have done here. "streaks like a // bird" is a really breathtaking jump. Also, food for thought: I tried inverting the poem and reading it again - it changed the resonance but it still worked. Maybe new options can come out of something like that!
Thanks! I'm just beginning to experiment with elements of poetry like form, punctuation etc. I've written freeform for such a long time, will little intention other than self-expression. This was an experiment in breaking the text into lines containing 6/4/6 syllables (approximately, not without variation). I'm glad you like the effect and appreciate the feedback!
Have you read Marianne Moore? Your work reminds me of hers. She often wrote in syllabic forms of her own invention and focused heavily in nature imagery. https://poets.org/poem/poetry
No, I’ll check her out!